Posts by Bumble Bee

34

Is it easy to fade...???

by Balaams Ass in

jw
friends

any comments or advice gratefully recieved.

diehard pioneer wife etc...

ba

I think everyones fading experience is alittle different. In may case I didn't set out to fade, it just happened. We had moved about 4 times in 6 years, different cities/towns and congs. Then when we bought our house and settled down my father became ill so to help out my mom we sometimes attended her hall, and there were lots of times we couldn't go because of my fathers illness. Then we just stopped going. If an elder from our hall dropped by, we said we'd been to my moms hall, when we showed up at my moms cong, the elders there just assumed we were regularly going to our own hall. That was the easy part.

The hard part of your fading is your family. My husbands family lives in another city, so they don't really know the extent of things, and we don't see them too much. My mom was another story. When she moved out of the city, she asked an elder to call on us. He did a few times, and still tries, but we are pretty good at avoiding him. I finally had to tell my mom I wasn't going anymore at all. It was not a pretty scene! I think she's come to terms with it now though, it's a don't ask, don't tell situation.

It takes alot of time if you are not thinking of moving around a bit and you have to be prepared to have questions asked that you might not be comfortable answering, and the odd surprise visits from the elders.

You are really in a limbo situation. Our marriage was affected for a while, but my hubby is faded along with me, although I think his reasons are different. There are some good experiences on the freeminds site you might want to look through.

Here's to a successful fade!!

BB

34

When you were a witness, did you ever wonder where the GOOD witnesses were?

by BizzyBee in

jw
friends

i grew up in the borg and can remember feeling a disconnect with the portrayal of witness behavior in the literature and what i actually experienced.

the stories from the yearbook about people wanting to study with witnesses "thirsty for knowledge of the truth" were so different from the responses i got in the fs, where people just seemed annoyed.

the pictures of happy folk and families of all colors looking toward some ray of light, united in the love for jehoober and each other, did not square with what was going on in my congo.

Bumble Bee

I learned the hard way that whenever anybody said "you should get to know this family, they are really spiritual" whenever I moved into a new cong that they were the last people I'd want to know.

It was always a big show they put on for everybody, when you got to know the real people, they weren't very nice.

I always looked for the people that were a bit on the outside of the cong. They were usually the kind good hearted people.

I knew some people that gave experiences on assembly parts, and knew what they did away from the KH. How they could get up there in front of everybody and make themeselves sound so good is beyond me. I could not be so dishonest.

BB

50

For those of you who went to Bethel, how was the food?

by TresHappy in

jw
friends

how were the doomsday dumplings?.

seriously, was the food good?

i used to hear it was awesome; somehow i don't believe that!

Bumble Bee

The Canadian Bethel Farm has recently been sold.

BB

14

Let Us Praise the Watchtower Blood-Gestapo

by metatron in

jw
friends

from the latest ( may 06) kingdom ministry , front page article entitled "follow me continually".

"and think of the loving assistance provided by brothers who serve on hospital liason committees and patient visitation groups.".

now, for you who don't already know, the hospital liason committees are local elders appointed to support the watchtower's blood.

Bumble Bee

DB74

It is nice to hear a positive experience for a change!!

Thanks for sharing that.

BB

6

THE SECRET - worth watching

by jwfacts in

a couple of months ago behindtheiron curtain posted a thread about the secret.

i inaccurately said it was by the raelians, who also made what the bleep.

i was wrong on both counts.

Bumble Bee

Also those who are negative get sick much more often. I have seen studies on this.

That is so true. Case in point - my mother and sister. They are always negative about everyting!!! And they are always sick!!

I have to say I was alot sicker when I was regularly attending meetings etc. I suffered from migrane headaches, IBS, skin conditions (exema, dermatitis, rosacia), and now that I've stopped going to meetings and have come to terms with my decision I'm free of all that.

I try and look for the good in a situation, and try and get my mom and sister to do the same. They've noticed the change in me, and I think it makes them notice the negative aspects to themselves and they don't like it. They liked me much better when I was negative with them. Sadly I have to limit the amout of time I spend with them because I can't take the negativity.

BB

17

How it affected my family

by KW13 in

jw
friends

have the society affected your family while you were a witness or while you were not?.

i remember i was sat at my grandma's.

my aunt was also there.

Bumble Bee

Yes, I think it affected my family and myself to a certain extent. On my mothers side there are very few JW. My grandmother "got the truth" when my aunts and uncles were older, so out of the five of them my mom is the only JW (my aunt was for a time but was DF'd for smoking). We've had DF'd family members, my dad was for a few years as well as my younger brother. I have to say my mother was not into the shunning aspect. She was not about to lose her only sister (good for her), but as a child growing up and hearing from the platform not to associate with such people, I wrestled with my conscience alot! I loved my aunt, loved going to her house and spending time with her and my cousins, but heard all the time how I wasn't supposed to be associating with them.

My father had a so called "secret sin". Smoking. He was DF'd for it when the change came about in the early '70's, but said he quit and was reinstated. I don't think he ever really quit. I knew from a young age that he smoked, and so did my brother. This bothered us very much. My mother I'm sure knew but denied it. I think knowing that my father was smoking hindered my relationship with him. I loved him dearly, and we did alot of things together as a family, but I think our relationship could have been so much more.

It was hard hearing the elders tell us if we knew someone was committing wrong that it needed to be brought out in the open and dealt with. When my brother and I were about to be baptized we tried to do this. My brother and father almost got into a fistfight. (My dad was a big strong man and knew how to fight.) It was very ugly. If my mother hadn't come between them I don't know what would have happened. He denied it and so did my mother. We had proof, both my brother and I had seen him smoking, knew where he hid the smokes and alot of other people knew he did it (people he worked with).

I recently talked with my mother about how this affected us. She said if it bothered us so much we should have gone to the elders and reported it!!!!!!!! I was shocked she'd say somthing like this. What a position to put your children in. If we had done this, my dad would have been DF'd again. How could we live with ourselves knowing we had our father DF'd again?? This so called religion is the worst thing that can happen to families.

BB

14

Let Us Praise the Watchtower Blood-Gestapo

by metatron in

jw
friends

from the latest ( may 06) kingdom ministry , front page article entitled "follow me continually".

"and think of the loving assistance provided by brothers who serve on hospital liason committees and patient visitation groups.".

now, for you who don't already know, the hospital liason committees are local elders appointed to support the watchtower's blood.

Bumble Bee

Patient Visitation Groups????

My mom had to beg for people in the hall to go and visit my father while in the hospital (non JW family members were regular visitors).

One time he was in very serious condition, we didn't know if he'd even survive the emergency surgery (a major artery in his leg had burst from a previous surgery, he was bleeding to death on the operating table). My mom's cong had a congregation picnic that afternoon and she couldn't reach anybody. I called an elder in my hall (who I thought was a friend) and told him the situation. He told us to wait until the picnic was over and contact her own elders. (At the time we lived in the same city, neighbouring congregations, so it wasn't like he had to travel, in fact he could have walked to the hospital.)

This indifference was a major factor in my decision to leave the JW's. There is no such thing as a World Wide Brotherhood.

BB

29

New Tract

by stillajwexelder in

well at the service meeting tonight the new tract was released for the special campaign for the district convention - just know you will all be delighted (yawn) to hear this news

Bumble Bee

I wonder if I'll get one, we live in a city where the DC is being held. Should be interesting.

BB

28

What kind of things did you do when going door to door to add time?

by whyizit in

jw
friends

i was intrigued by an earlier post.

the point was made that the jws are going door-to-door to meet a quota and are not really concerned about the people they are witnessing to, but only in saving their own butts.

has anyone ever had a non-jw friend and asked them if they could talk about jehovah for a while to them, in order to fill the time they need?

Bumble Bee

We had mostly rural territory. I used to love going out with this one older sister. She had lived in the area for so long and knew every territory there was. She had loads and loads of return visits. And I mean visits. It was usually someone her age, and we'd stop by, get invited in, be served drinks and a snack and then chat for a while. At the end this sister would then pull out the mags and leave them with the householder. This sister could be a royal pain in the "you know what" but if you wanted an easy day in service, she was the one to go with.

The one time that a whole lot of time was wasted was when the car group stopped at a season cottage site. All these cottages are on leased Conservation land and you are only allowed to stay at them certain months of the year. This was the off season and all the cottages were closed up. I tried to expain to the brother leading the group that there would be no one there but he insisted we call on every cottage anyways.

BB

45

I think my parents arent talking to me for good this time

by Es in

jw
friends

hey all,.

most of you know the story, havnt spoken to my folks for nearly 8 months after another argument as to why they could not been seen in public with my fiance (now hubby) and i as it would be seen agreeing with my decision to marry a "worldly" man.. i kind of got the hint it was for good when i didnt get an invite to the memorial, even if we are not talking at the time my dad always sends a written invite.. my nan has been really sick so she has been staying at my mums so i decided to text my mum yesterday to see how she is going.

bout 6:30 my mob rings and its my mum i was shocked but also excited to hear her voice....but instead it was my nan.

Bumble Bee

((((((Es))))))

Keep your spirits up, don't let their attitude get to you. Back in December I discussed a few things with my mother, how growing up a JW affected me, among other things (her treatment of me etc) and basically let her know I'm not going to attend meetings anymore.

She flew off the handle, said alot of really hurtful things and said she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. She even rang my brother up and told him she was cutting me out of her will!! LOL

I told her I was sorry she felt that way, would miss her, but that the decision was hers, and she'd have to live with it.

I have to say I couldn't believe what a relief it was!!! It was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders!!

It didn't take her too long to come knocking at my door one evening apologizing and telling me she wanted me in her life - even if I didn't want to go to meetings anymore.

I won't say our relationship is the same as it was before, but atleast we have one (it's kind of a don't ask don't tell situation). She didn't even invite me to the memorial or the special talk so I guess she took me seriously.

When there are children involved I think sometimes the grandparents soften their stand. They may come around in time.

BB